Questions to guide you to be the change you want to see
Being a parent is both a blessing and a challenge. When we are struggling in the moment, it’s important to take a step back and evaluate how we might be fueling the situation. It’s our job to teach our kids how to be people. Self reflection can ensure we are being our best selves and in turn the parent we want to be.
Whether it’s spending more quality time with your children, adopting a more positive communication style, or setting clear and consistent boundaries, a plan will guide you on your journey to becoming a better parent.
What do I want my kids to remember?
When our kids are adults, what do we want them to look back on and remember? What are the values, lessons, or moments that we want to stand out in their memories? Reflecting on this can guide our actions and decisions to help create meaningful experiences for our children.
How do I want them to feel?
Emotions play a HUGE role in just about everything. Children won’t just remember our actions but they will remember the emotions they felt during childhood. Our actions and words can significantly impact our children’s emotional health and self esteem.
What is in my control?
It’s easy to feel out of control when raising tiny humans. As much as we want to control them, we really can’t. We can however control our responses to our their behaviors, the values we teach, the home environment we create, and the love and support we provide. Focusing on what is in our control will help shape and model the behaviors we want to see.
How am I contributing?
Our every action or inaction plays a part in our children’s lives. They are always watching. Are our actions contributing positively or negatively? Are we being good role models? By being conscious of our own behaviors, we can make necessary changes to be the best teacher for our kids.
What needs to change?
No one is a perfect parent, and recognizing that there’s always room for growth is the first step. Do we need to be more patient? Do we need to express our big emotions more appropriately? Identifying the areas that need improvement on our parts can help provide a better environment for our children.
How am I going to do this?
After reflecting on these questions, the next step is to create a plan of action. This may involve seeking professional help, finding resources for parenting, or simply making a personal commitment to change certain behaviors. Remember, it’s not about achieving perfection, but about continuous growth and doing our best.
My Plan
There are 3 steps to making a change: acknowledgment, accountability, and action. Now that you know something needs to change, you’ve identified how your contribution, you can then implement the change you want to see.